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Jesus on Big Brother

Justin Heazlewood, aka the Bedroom Philosohper, wrote this a year or so back, but it’s doing the rounds again at the moment….  yes, this is same guy with the "I’m so post-modern" song.

Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother
As soon as he came on two million homes around Australia
Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets.
Within a week he’d won the house over
They found him genuine, passionate, artistic, kind
And he made a divine pasta bake out of next to nothing
He cracked jokes for all ages and races
He played the banjo and sang songs about freeing the refugees
He got down on his knees
Within two weeks, Mooks had brought out the urban robe
Sandals were back in and kids were wearing halos to school
The ratings broke all the records
More people watched Jesus that The Simpsons and Friends and the news
combined
He was on the cover of all the magazines
Priests were constantly hounded by reporters
Wanting the dirt.
Church attendance doubled then tripled
People were bringing in signs that said John 3:16, and Jesus is sick
He was the talk of the schoolyard, the topic of the offices,
Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows.
Thousands of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their windows
Bible sales reached biblical proportions
Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus, in awe
Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn’t be any more popular
The remaining housemates began to plot against him.
They knew he would win unless they agreed to nominate him.
The biggest complaint made against Jesus was that he was too kind, and a
bit preachy.
While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on his side,
Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes, and was evicted.
After leaving Big Brother, Jesus refused all interviews,
auctioned all his possessions for charity
And went into hiding.
People were devastated. Some kept their TV sets off for three days
As a sign of respect.
But then three weeks later Jesus returned with his own controversial
prime-time TV
show, everybody loves jesus.
It outrated Big Brother, three to one
He then released a hit single, ‘God is in the heart’
And my little sister knows all the words.

 Rhax